WillysPoints (WP for short) are part of a system our ever-patient wives use to allocate the time and money we can spend on our projects. The term was coined by members of the WillysTech Mailing List.
The key concept is that you have absolutely no control over your WillysPoints. If you think you have enough, you probably don't. It is almost impossible to earn them, but there are bazillions of ways to lose them. (Try forgetting her birthday...)
Numerical values are not used to keep track of WillysPoints. For instance, you can't say, "I have 3000 WillysPoints." That means absolutely nothing. Rather, relative terms are used. You could have amounts such as barely enough, almost enough, not even close or deep in the red when keeping track. An example of proper usage is: "I have barely enough WillysPoints for an overdrive." However, that is something of a delusional statement. The following is more likely, spoken in the past tense: "I had barely enough WillysPoints for an overdrive, but then our latest credit card statement arrived."
It is important to understand that WillysPoints will evaporate quickly. They have an incredibly short shelf life. Just because you have some today, doesn't mean you will have them tomorrow or even an hour from now. You might have a bucketful of WillysPoints one day after you mowed the lawn, did the dishes and even left your wife a little love note in her coat pocket. But the next day, she snags her pantyhose on some Jeep parts you've been meaning to put away for some time now. Poof, all of your WillysPoints are gone. You don't even have to cause the problem to lose your WillysPoints. You could be at the store buying a 15 cent cotter pin for the Jeep when the dishwasher floods the kitchen. Poof, all your WillysPoints are gone again.
The only sure fire way to earn WillysPoints is to look at a majorly decrepit project for sale, and then NOT buy it. She will be so relieved that collection of rust will not be moving to your driveway. You will have a very narrow window of opportunity. You must be prepared to act quickly before the dog throws up, the kids start fighting or checks start bouncing.
As a service to fellow Jeep owners, I'm suggesting that owners of derelict parts vehicles pretend to sell them. Naturally we'll have to drop by when seller's wife isn't home, or he will lose WillysPoints. We'll bring our family along, and then "decide" not to buy. We'll slip you a small check
for your trouble. Flush with WillysPoints, we'll take the scenic way home and "stumble" across a barn-fresh FC170 for sale. Remember, this is not the time to haggle over price with the seller. You can always scrounge up more money somehow (Look under "Plasma Centers" in the Yellow Pages), but not so with WillysPoints.
If you can't hatch such an elaborate plan, you may have to run an occasional test to know your WillysPoint status. Sneak off to look at every old Jeep ad in the classifieds. After finding a promising one, rent some weepy romantic video. Build a fire (A fireplace would come in handy here) and try to make it through the movie while your wife empties a box of Kleenex. Right after the scene where the movie's heroine is diagnosed with a rare and fatal disease, make your move. Mention how the father of the doomed star reminds you of the kindly gentleman who is selling a garageful of Willys parts for "just a few hundred dollars.
" If she doesn't object too strenuously, you must hurry over in the morning. Your manhood is at stake. If you don't make the purchase, she will take that as a sign of weakness and you will be forever doomed.
If nothing else succeeds, take a tip from the kids. Try whining. It worked for me.